No, We Aren’t Going To “Try” For A Little Girl..

August 21, 2018

Can we talk about the well intended question that annoys me to no end?  When people ask if we are going to try for a little girl. How does one “try” for a daughter or a son?  I’m thankful to be the mother to two boys, it is a challenging, humbling mission field.  I know my girl moms feel the same way about their brood of daughters!

Honestly, I think we should just in general stop inquiring about the reproductive plans of others.
Here is the reason why:  you never know someone else’s story.  For example, did you know I was born with a rare kidney condition that makes pregnancy not super safe? (and v. uncomfortable, to be honest.)   It is linked to iron deficiency and consequent hemorrhaging.  (which I did experience with Liam.) 

Maybe you shouldn’t judge the mom who only has one kid, because she battled infertility for five or six years before finally becoming pregnant.  Fertility treatments are very costly, and the hormonal and emotional toll were too much for her to go through again.

For clarification, there is also no reason to comment on the spacing of one’s children.  Our kids are pretty close in age and people love to talk about how crazy we are.   The really cool thing about family planning is that it can be customized to each family.


I think about the experiences of my closest friends, how vastly different our journeys to motherhood have been.  I think of my friends who long for children and my friends who don’t possess those maternal skills.

Each and every family will have a different story.  It is theirs to share or hold private.  Please don’t unintentionally hurt a child’s feelings because they were the sixth son in a family.  Please don’t pour salt on a woman’s infertile wound.  Please don’t even assume that all women want children.  Please don’t believe that girls are easier than boys or vice versa.  Remember that even well intended comments can be hurtful reminders.

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    1. I SO agree- people always comment our choice to only have one child. But going into detail about our fertility struggles and losses is just tmi to have to share all of the time. Let’s remind each other NEVER to make comments about the size of peoples’ families <3

    1. Amen to that sister! We have two boys as well. Even though I would have loved to have a little girl, these buddies are my life and our family is complete. That question always makes my hair stand on end. Here’s to hoping that it gets cut out of conversation in the years to come!

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